What Dreams May Come
by GrumpySpaceKitten
Summary: Levi has always had trouble with sleep. Eren is there to help.


**Viewer discretion definitely advised**

Levi doesn't sleep. For a very specific reason

There's many things that have added to his insomnia but there is only one that started it.

It always comes to him in his dreams. His friends' screams, dismembered limbs strewn across a bloody battlefield, soldiers babbling about gods, mercy, or their families as they struggle against a giant fist that only ignores their pleading for help, brings them closer to a gaping maw full of teeth bigger than most men that snaps down on the soldier and-

Levi sees all this in his dreams too. Every scout who's been outside the wall does. But it's not what his dreams start with. They start long before he even understood what was going on outside the walls, or even above ground.

 _With gasping breaths ripping through his small chest, tears streaking his dirty cheeks as he runs. He runs and runs and runs and runs, making sharp turns down narrow streets and alleyways, tripping over rocks and thin legs too weak and frail for people to move them. He isn't even sure where he is anymore but that doesn't stop him - he just keeps running._

 _He doesn't seem to be making any ground against the couple chasing him - a man and woman, both drunk. Everyone seems to be drunk down here. He doesn't know exactly what they want with him but the way they give chase says it can't be anything good. Levi chokes on a sob and pushes himself harder. His lungs sting with lack of air, tears in his eyes make everything so blurry he can barely tell where the next turn is; his muscles scream for him to stop, too taxed as they are, yet some instinct forces him to push harder, run faster._

 _It didn't use to be like this. No one ever looked at him like prey before. Before his mother would hold his hand tight when they went out and shoot the nastiest look at anyone who eyed him. He didn't know why but people always seemed to respect his mom; most of them treated her nice. Sometimes vendors would give her discounts on their food; they said it was an exchange, as long as they got discounts from her too. Levi didn't know what she was selling - all he knew is that sometimes men and women would come to their room and he would be sent downstairs to stay with the man who seemed to be in charge of the building._

 _This wouldn't be happening if she was still here. She would look at these two with her dirty glare, maybe even pull the knife from her corset that Levi had seen the few times people had been too mean to him. They would run away without a fight. His mom was a strong, scary woman. But she was always nice to him, she took care of him. All Levi wants is to be able to hide in her skirts like he used to while she points her knife and tells these nasty people to never come near her son again._

 _Levi's foot catches on the uneven pavement and he falls. "Mama!" he screams as he slides across the concrete, scraping up his hands, knees, and cheek. His mom isn't here. It's just him and this man and woman looking at him like he's a feast._

 _"Please leave me alone!" he sobs. He tries to crawl away, his body is aching so much. The man grabs his long, greasy hair and yanks him back._

 _"Y'ain't gettin' away from us. We got things we wanna do, see?" His breath his rancid, it makes Levi gag. The woman produces a knife from her belt and goes for his shirt. Her blade knicks his skin as she cuts it the shirt open. His mother's shirt. The only one he's worn since she passed. He refuses anything else Kenny tries to give him._

 _His sobs are howls now. The man snarls his annoyance and shoves his ruined shirt in his mouth. "Shut yer trap, whelp. This here is what yer sweet old mother used to do for us all the time. Only right of ye to carry on the family business."_

 _Levi squeezes his eyes shut, tears dripping down into his hair. He wants her so badly. He wants to help her make dinner, he wants to curl up and sleep by her again - Kenny never cuddles him; he wants to sit in the sunlight with her as she makes up stories of kings and princesses and birds so big they could be ridden like the horses the Military Police sometimes bring down. He just wants her here to protect him from all the bad people who haven't left him alone since she died._

 _"Mama…" It's a whimper this time. That adrenaline that had been fueling his sprint is now ebbing away. He kicks at the woman when she comes closer but she slaps him hard and his body goes limp when his mind fogs up. He can't fight anymore; he's just a kid against a cruel world that wants to tarnish and destroy him. He can only cry as the woman tugs his pants away and then their hands are-_

Levi bolts upright and a blanket falls from his shoulders. Tears sting the corners of his eyes. It's bright - much too bright to be underground. He wipes at his eyes with the back of his hand. His bearings are slow to come back to him. He's at his desk - of course he had fallen asleep at his desk, he always does; he's never even laid in the bed shoved away in the corner - with paperwork spread out in front of him, pen still in his limp hand. The ink on the page in front of him is smeared, which means his cheek likely has a streak of black across it - his cheek is also probably a bright red from being pressed up against his desk. How long has he been asleep?

He lets out a shuddering breath and turns to stand, only to stop. "Eren,"

Eren's eyes go wide and he shifts in his kneeling position as a guilty look crosses his face, like a kid caught with his hand in the cookie jar. "Captain! I-I… Uh, I came to cover you up when I saw you were asleep," That explains the blanket then. "But you didn't seem to be sleeping well, I thought it might be good of me to stay with you… I'm sorry-"

"Don't," Levi cuts into the apology. "It's fine."

He sighs as he straightens then twists to crack his stiff back. He hasn't willingly slept since then - he stays awake for days until his body crashes. And he sees it in every dream he has.

Kenny found out about it; not really surprising since when he came back to the apartment he holed the boy up in Levi was sitting in his ruined clothing, covered in fluids and blood, sobbing as he hacked off his long hair with a dulled knife. He said he was going to teach the kid to be strong so that something like that would never happen to him again. And Levi worked his ass off. He diligently followed the training, took every correction to heart. He wasn't even ten years old when that man and woman took advantage of him. But God help the next person who tried.

He hasn't felt safe sleeping since his mother passed. She would hold him against her chest, stroking his hair as she sang lullabies to him. Even as her illness worsened and coughs interrupted her verses, Levi was always her first priority. Kenny never forced him to sleep like Kuchel might have. Oddly enough though, Levi remembers Kenny always being there when he woke up.

Levi stares at the report he'll have to write again. She was a good mother. How different his life would be if she was still there.

Eren cradles Levi's hand between both of his own. "I'll stay here if you want to go back to sleep. I won't leave."

Levi blinks at the offer. I'll stay and watch over you. It's unspoken but clear enough. It's such an overtly intimate thing to suggest and really Eren has no place- Levi stops. No, Eren has every place for it. Because every time he turns into a titan, whether for a mission, to save his comrades, or just for Hanji's experiments, he places his life solely in Levi's hands. Why shouldn't he expect an equal return of trust?

He hesitates but then Levi nods. He moves the smudged report and lays his cheek against the wood once more. Eren pulls the blanket back over his shoulders and shifts closer. "I promise I'm not going anywhere," he whispers. Levi almost flinches when Eren cards his fingers through his dark hair, then reminds himself to relax. He can let his guard down; he's safe.

Slowly his eyes slide closed. Levi doesn't know if he'll sleep more, most likely not. He doesn't mind though; he'll stay here and enjoy those gentle hands working through his hair, lulling him. After all the expeditions beyond the walls, their battles against the Colossal and Armored Titans, the military coup, Shiganshina, Eren has come to put his full, unwavering trust in Levi.

As Eren brushes his bangs back and coaxes him into repose, Levi finds he can do the same.


End file.
